weeks go by quicker when you sleep through the boring parts of the days.

what a fucking waste.

oh well.

so, i decided to stay up all night.

my head is killing me.

too much rum, or maybe not enough.

however you want to look at it.

i'm leaning toward not enough.

and it's snowing, by the way.

i hadn't noticed until i was taking some trash out a little while ago. it seemed nice for some reason, so i stayed outside for a little while. i saw a set of footprints and was going to watch them disappear. as i was looking out toward sixth avenue, an old man and woman happened to be pushing what i thought was a stroller across the street from the car they'd gotten out of. it seemed odd that they would be toting a baby around in this weather, or even have one for that matter, but with my head splitting open and the whole sleepiness thing setting in, i didn't really put much thought into my assumption at the time. it ended up being a cart with groceries or something in it. the car they were in, it had another older guy in the driver's seat. he had stopped in the middle of the road and was saying goodbye to the couple he'd dropped off, making sure they made it across the street or whatever, when some redneck idiots in a piece of shit truck pulled up behind him. the nascar fan in the passenger seat started yelling some shit through his open window, telling the old guy,

"move your ass, old man!"

i watched them both pull away and wasn't surprised to see that the redneck fuck still kept his window all the way down, like it wasn't twenty degrees outside. i thought about how fucking stupid he must be, then remembered that i was the one standing out there for no reason, shivering, not even in a car, and thought,

"at least he's going somewhere."

then i walked back inside, watched the snow melt on my jacket, and took some tylenol.

and i really wish i had more rum.

i've spent the past three nights watching shitty horror movies and falling asleep on my brother's couch with my head next to a phone that rings all morning.

these christmas breaks, they get better every year.

aside from that, i finished moving into my new apartment.

it's pretty nice, but i've already developed a handful of bad habits from living alone.

without anyone there to give a shit, i stay up too late and make breakfast at five in the morning. coffee included.

why? no fucking clue.

i walk around wearing a towel for three hours after i shower.

i fall asleep in the living room with the television on. and the volume doesn't matter.

i've seen the infomercial for the magic bullet too many times for my own good.

someone buy one for me, please.

i want six second scrambled eggs and before you know it bean dip, mother fuckers.

begging.

and when i piss, i leave the bathroom door open and wait for someone to catch me.

they never do. and i never miss a drop.

i haven't felt the need to shave in over a week.

i'm one grizzled mother fucker.

i get bored and pace back and forth between my living room and kitchen for what can seem like hours.

and i'm not sure whether i'm going to love it or hate it.

the amount of freedom you gain when there's no one around to care is almost too much.

no one to keep you in check.

no one to disapprove.

every mess being your own.

no one to tell you "no".

not a single person around to catch your bad habits.

but we'll see how it goes, yeah?

yeah.

i think i'll be just fine.